Despite Their Huge Sales and Continuing Popularity Self helap

By Topic – Best Self-Help Books

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There are so many self-help and psychology books available that it is bewildering to know which ones are particularly helpful. The following recommended self-help books, listed by topic, are all books that I highly recommend. I've also included some memoirs and novels which I think are particularly valuable. As I do more reading and research, I add to this list. I want this to be a valuable and helpful resource for everyone, so if there is a topic you want to see listed here which is missing, please drop me an email.

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ABUSE

Empty Cradles (Margaret Humphreys) – a harrowing but compelling memoir which details the abuse suffered by thousands of children deported from Britain to 'build up the Empire.' This was state sponsored abuse on a large scale and it is devastating to read about the suffering endured by many of the children involved: emotional, physical and sexual abuse. The tenacity of Humphreys to uncover this dark part of our history, here in Britain, is a testament to her extraordinary courage. One of the most powerful memoirs and books that I have read in showing us the devastating impact of abuse on peoples' lives and that of their families.

ADDICTION

Families And Addiction: How To Stop The Chaos And Restore Family Balance (Robert H Brown et al) – one of the best books I have read on support for families of addicts. When we have an addict in the family, the focus is usually on them. The family around any kind of addict can feel as though they are drowning and lost, not knowing what to do for the best. This powerful book is a real guide and lifeline to anyone who is unfortunate enough to find themselves in this situation. Highly recommended.

ANGER MANAGEMENT

Anger Management (John Crawford) – if you're looking to understand anger, in yourself and loved ones, and how to stop the cycle of being angry, then this book will be excellent. With a compassionate tone, Psychotherapist John Crawford gives us tools to manage our anger which are easy to understand and doable. One of the best books I've read on understanding and managing anger. (Full Review: Understanding & Controlling Anger – Recommended Book.)

ANXIETY

Overcome Anxiety & Overcome Social Anxiety (Matt Lewis) –these are two powerful books written by Dr Matt Lewis who is a renewed expert on Anxiety. A former psychology lecturer, he now writes and offers courses in mental health. His warm and caring approach make these books especially helpful. It's also important to note that Dr Lewis has experienced crippling anxiety himself so he can have true empathy with those struggling with anxiety. The toolkits he offers are easy to follow and show that help is available for all forms of anxiety.(FULL REVIEW: Best Self-Help Book of 2017)

BIPOLAR DISORDER

An Unquiet Mind (Kay Redfield Jamison) – an invaluable and powerful memoir of clinical psychologist Kay Redfield Jamison's experience with bipolar disorder. Well known as a highly skilled researcher and campaigner in this area of mental health, her courage and honesty are compelling as she lays bare the devastating impacts of this illness. A must read for anyone with bipolar disorder or family and friends trying to understand the condition.
Selfhood (Terry Lynch) – Former GP and now psychotherapist and mental health campaigner, Dr Terry Lynch expands and develops our understanding of the self. He observes daily, in his practice, that many suffering from severe mental health illnesses have lost their sense of selfhood – their ability to feel in control of their lives, to feel empowered, and to live with confidence. A fascinating and thought-provoking book full of action steps. Although written for those already struggling with mental health issues, it could be very useful to anyone struggling with their emotional world who struggles to create meaningful relationships and self-sabotages in their life. (Full Review: A Common Link In Mental Health Problems? – Recommended Book)

CHANGE & PERSONAL GROWTH

The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People (Stephen R. Covey) – with more than 10 million copies sold, this groundbreaking book continues to be on the bestseller list for a reason. It is a manual for performing well in both the personal and professional sphere. Not a quick-fix self-help book but it is full of information and concepts for us to successfully affect change and personal growth in our lives. Essential reading.

CHILDLESSNESS

Beyond Childlessness: For Every Woman Who Ever Wanted To Have A Child And Didn't (Rachel Black & Louise Scull) – this is an emotionally supportive book for those who are childless. The interviews and stories of deep despair reach out from the pages and offer a stretched out hand of understanding to those who are also trying to come to terms with their own childlessness. With compassion and empathy – coming from personal experience – the authors offer no judgement, only support, as they show the full expression of all the complex and devastating feelings around this difficult and often taboo subject. An essential read for those trying to cope with the grief and loss which comes from childlessness.

COGNITIVE BEHAVIOURAL THERAPY (CBT)

Thoughts and Feelings: Taking Control of Your Moods and Your Life (Matthew McKay, Martha Davis & Patrick Fanning) – the Fourth edition of this well-researched book offers the most up-to-date and proven techniques for using CBT to help with mood disorders, all forms of anxiety, anger, low self-esteem, procrastination and many other problems. If you are battling any of these issues then this will offer enormous help, comfort and hope. It is a comprehensive self-help book in this area and is an invaluable guide to managing difficult thoughts and feelings.(FULL REVIEW: Do you struggle with difficult thoughts and feelings? – Recommended Book.)

DEPRESSION

Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy (David Burns) – in this informative and ground-breaking book, Burns uses cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) to help people with depression see, target, and change any self-defeating thoughts that they may have. He also includes a useful guide to the many medications which are used to control mood, and he outlines some of their effects. This best-seller, originally published in 1980, brought CBT into the mainstream and it remains an important book in the fight against depression. It is helpful for sufferers, family and friends.
Depressive Illness – The Curse of the Strong (Tim Cantopher) – now in its 3rd edition, there is a great deal of wisdom, help and understanding in this book for suffers and carers alike. Please note, though, that it has a narrow focus – stress-related depression – and some of the author's 'facts' about depression are currently just persuasive theories. Nevertheless, this is an excellent book from a psychiatrist who has a wealth of expertise in treating depressive illness.
Depression – The Way Out Of Your Prison (Dorothy Rowe) – is a compelling book by the world-renowned writer and clinical psychologist Dorothy Rowe. She looks at depression as a defence mechanism to pain rather than a mental disorder which always needs medication. If this is something which resonates with you then this book will be useful for you. In general, her books on mental health are powerful and often offer new ways of seeing things. She offers compassion and knowledge in equal measure throughout all of her many books.

FEAR

The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us From Violence (Gavin de Becker) – an exceptional book which encourages us to trust our gut instinct when we could be under physical threat. Sometimes fear is there for a good reason and we need to listen to it.(FULL REVIEW: Do you value your intuition? – Recommended Book.)

GRIEF & LOSS

On Grief And Grieving (Elizabeth Kubler-Ross) – when looking for books on grief, Kubler-Ross offers us compassion and expertise which is based on years of deep research and understanding. On Grief And Grieving is one of the most famous books ever written for its impact on how we view grief and bereavement. One of her other books, On Death & Dying, is also a must read if you have a loved one who is terminally ill, or family and friends in this position. How do we cope with this? What should we do and say? Kubler-Ross tells us what those who are dying really need and shows us how we can help them and also help ourselves cope with death. Her books are supportive, gentle and kind – all the things we need when experiencing this most difficult of emotions.
The Snow Child (Eowyn Ivey) – novels can help us as much, and sometimes more, than dedicated self-help books. We see people undergoing the things we are experiencing and this connects with us in a powerful and visceral way. The Snow Child, set in Alaska's frontier territory, is a poignantly sad story and yet it is full of hope. Weaved within the story, it describes with great insight not only grief and loss but also a way to find a meaningful life alongside these most difficult emotions. It is a beautiful and captivating novel which has never left me. (Full Review: The Healing Power of An Open Heart – 'The Snow Child'.)
Over (Margaret Forster)– another novel which powerfully looks at grief and how it can divide us. Following the death of 18-year-old Miranda we see how the family cope with their grief. We all cope in different ways with grief and this novel shows us this. It is compelling and heartbreaking and a real-life picture of how grief affects a family. It is a beautifully crafted work of fiction from a master story-teller. It shows us, as vividly as any textbook, the different ways family members deal with loss and the devastating effects this has on them all.(Full Review: Grief Can Be Divisive – 'Over')

HABITS

The Power of Habit (Charles Duhigg) – looking at neuroscience to understand how and why we create habits and how to change them. Investigative journalist Duhigg offers a three-parts structure as a key to changing habits. His book is peppered with engaging stories which makes this an engaging read.
Better Than Before – (Gretchen Rubin) – an excellent book on forming new habits. Gretchen Rubin cannot write a bad book and this book on habits offers powerful, actionable advice in a way which completely make sense. Now my favourite 'go-to book' on habits – breaking and making them. (Full Review: Top Tips For Making & Breaking Habits – Recommended Book.)

HAPPINESS

The Happiness Project & Happier At Home (Gretchen Rubin) – of the many excellent books on happiness, these two are my own personal favourites. Rubin investigated far and wide to uncover what makes us happy. She found things out which many may find surprising. The good news is that all of us can increase our happiness, whatever circumstance we are in. These books are well worth reading if you want to find out more about Rubin's take on happiness and how we can find more of it in our own lives in the simplest of ways. (Full Review: What Makes You Happy – Recommended Books)
Choosing Happiness (Stephanie Dowrick and Catherine Greer) – an uplifting book dedicated to showing us that we can 'choose' to be happy. There are many small topics which make it easy to dip into and it is full of support, warmth and wisdom as all Dowrick's books are.
The Happiness Trap (Russ Harris) – uses ACT – a revolutionary mindfulness based program – to help reduce stress and anxiety and so increase levels of happiness. At times controversial, this is a powerful book which turns many books and approaches to happiness on its head. Although it takes some application to follow this mindfulness based system, it can have powerful effects and offer a lasting experience of happiness.

HOARDING

The Hoarder In You: How To Live A Happier, Healthier Uncluttered Life (Robin Zasio) – offers excellent self-help to anyone who has a difficult relationship with their possessions. Hoarders struggle with three main things: difficulty letting things go, anxiety when parting with things and continual accumulation of possessions. An expert therapist in her field, Dr Robin Zasio, offers compassion and many strategies to help the hoarder and their family cope with this debilitating anxiety condition.

LIFE SKILLS

Man's Search for Meaning (Viktor Frankl) – compelling personal and psychological reflections of Psychiatrist Victor Frankl on his experiences in a concentration camp. His insights: that we all have the freedom to choose how we react to events in our own life and we also all have the capacity to give our life its own meaning – even in the worst of circumstances. Essential reading.
A Survival Guide For Life (Bear Grylls) – this book has a popular, light touch, with pithy short chapters and it is packed full with great advice and wisdom. It looks at some of the essential life skills we need to flourish: Resilience, Motivation, Time Management, Goals and more. It is an encouraging and inspirational read. (Full Review: A Motivational & Inspirational Toolkit – Recommended Book)

MINDFULNESS

Mindfulness: A practical guide to finding peace in a frantic world (Danny Penman) – still the best overview of mindfulness on the market. This is the place to start if you really want to understand what mindfulness is and its value for you.
Sane New World & Frazzled (Ruby Wax) – this is mindfulness in action from comedian turned mental health campaigner Ruby Wax. In her inimitable and engaging style she explores her own life and really shows mindfulness working at a personal level. She attributes it to helping her control and manage her own depression and mental health difficulties. Both books are engaging, thought=provoking, and well worth reading. (Full Review: Top 3 Best Self-Help Books of 2016 – Recommended Books.)

MIND MANAGEMENT

The Chimp Paradox: The Mind Management Programme to Help You Achieve Success, Confidence and Happiness (Dr Steve Peters)– this groundbreaking mind management model has helped elite sports stars to realise their full potential. It is not just for elite athletes, though. If you have problems with self-worth, self-sabotage and struggle to manage your mind, then using the techniques described by Psychiatrist Dr Steve Peters could make a huge difference to your life.(FULL REVIEW: The Mind Management behind GB's Olympic Cycling Team – Recommended Book.)

OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER (OCD)

Brain Lock (Jeffrey Schwartz) – still one of the best books that is available on this distressing condition. It details how OCD can be understood and battled with: both as sufferers and carers. Schwartz' 'Four Steps' approach is recommended on the UK's OCD national charity website. (For my self-help article discussing the Four Step Method and managing OCD, please go to: Harley Therapy.)

PERFECTIONISM

Overcoming Perfectionism (Shafran, Egan & Wade) – distinguishing between unhealthy perfectionism and positive high standards, this book is packed full of self-help strategies to help tackle damaging perfectionism. 'Overcoming Perfectionism' does not mean a lowering of standards but focuses on ensuring accurate thinking and adjusting our behaviour as we take these insights on board.

PERSON-CENTRED COUNSELLING

On Becoming A Person (Carl Rogers) – psychologist Carl Rogers revolutionised counselling in the 1940s and 1950s when he developed his 'person-centred' approach to counselling. In On Becoming A Person and Client Centred Therapy ,he proposed that the client has all the tools he/she needs to solve their own problems. In contrast to the, then, highly valued and emotionally intense psychoanalytic tradition, the person-centred counsellor was an attentive and non-judgemental listener who mirrored back the client's words and thoughts. In offering this 'unconditional positive regard,' connecting genuinely with the client, and demonstrating ongoing empathy – without offering active advice – the client was enabled to reach their own life-defining insights and so work out their own problems. It is a counselling theory which is still very much in operation today and highly valued in practice.

PROCRASTINATION

Now Habit: A Strategic Program for Overcoming Procrastination and Enjoying Guilt-Free Play (Neil Fiore) – if you struggle with chronic and debilitating procrastination then try this book first. It helps make sense of your delaying tactics and offers techniques, such as the now famous 'unschedule,' for dealing with this self-defeating behaviour pattern which can stop you achieving your full potential. Fiore is a gifted communicator as an author and in his role as an inspirational speaker – http://www.neilfiore.com
Procrastination: Why You Do It, What To Do About It (Jane B. Lenora & M. Burka Yuen)– this is a fascinating look at procrastination from a psychoanalytic perspective. The link between perfectionism and procrastination is well explored and this book also includes some techniques for overcoming procrastination. The authors are both 'recovering perfectionists' so bring great understanding to the topic. If Fiore doesn't quite hit the spot and you need to know more about the roots of your behaviour then this offers valuable insight.

RELATIONSHIPS

Loving Him Without Losing You: Seven Empowering Strategies for Better Relationships (Beverly Engel) – essential reading for all women in any kind of relationship. Especially good for those who feel they lose their own identity in relationships. The seven strategies help women to understand and change this damaging dynamic.

SELF-ESTEEM

Overcoming Low Self-Esteem (Melanie Fennell) – an excellent, practical and compassionate book on how to raise your self-esteem. Dr Fennell, a well-known expert in this area, explores the origins of low self-esteem and then offers exercises, using cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), to help change any damaging thinking patterns which could be affecting your self-esteem.
Six Pillars of Self-Esteem (Nathanial Branden) – is a comprehensive look at what we need to do to improve our self-esteem. Nathanial Branden has devoted his writing life to self-esteem as he believes it to be the "most important psychological subject in the world." His insights are compelling. (Full Review: Help For Love Self-Esteem – Recommended Book.)

SEX ADDICTION

Out Of The Shadows (Patrick Carnes) – as he tackles this taboo subject, Carnes, a renowned expert in this field, offers a starting point for understanding sex addiction. Reading this book will enable you to identify if these problems apply to you, to a friend, or a loved one. It is one of the best books available on this complex problem and it will also be helpful for those embarking on the potentially long and difficult road to recovery.
The Sex Addiction Workbook (Sbraga & O'Donohue) – this unique workbook, written by two leading psychologists, helps sex addicts confront their behaviour and change their lives. It uses proven strategies – cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) – and approaches this difficult topic in a non-judgemental way with compassion and understanding. While this book is an excellent 'stand-alone' self-help book, it would be particularly useful to work through it alongside some form of therapy.

STRESS

The Relaxation & Stress Reduction Workbook (Davis, Eshelman and McKay) – the longevity of this book and its high sales are a testament to its usefulness. Still the most all-encompassing and helpful guide to managing your stress.
The Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Sourcebook: A Guide to Healing, Recovery and Growth (Glen Schiraldi) – an invaluable resource for those with post traumatic stress disorder. Schiraldi writes with warmth and understanding while offering practical assistance for dealing with your PTSD.
The Upside of Stress (Kelly McGonigal) – this turns everything we thought we knew about stress on its head. McGonigal shows us how to transform stress into a positive force for good in our lives. If you've got 15 minutes – McGonigal's Youtube talk is also an excellent introduction to her ideas on stress.

SUICIDE

Night Falls Fast: Understanding Suicide (Kay Redfield Jamison) – with her own experience of almost lethal suicide, Kay Redfield Jamison, an expert and campaigner in the field of mental health, gives us a profound book on suicide. As the third major killer of young people in the Western World, suicide is one of the hardest things for us all to grapple with and talk about. It exists in silence but this book helps to bring suicide out from the darkness into the light. My feeling is that we should all read this book. None of us know when our lives may be affected by suicide. Not talking about it is not the answer. The opposite is true. Anything we can do to understand suicide and talk about it more openly can only be positive for those suffering suicidal feelings and for those coping with a devastating loss through suicide.

TIME MANAGEMENT & PRODUCTIVITY

Getting Things Done: How to Achieve Stress-Free Productivity (David Allen) – this highly recommended bestseller focuses on mastering a five-stage method for managing tasks and jobs: collecting, processing, organising, reviewing and doing. It stands the test of time and is inspiring, practical and effective if you need to increase your productivity and avoid procrastination and perfectionism. (FULL REVIEW: Need to be more productive? – Recommended Book.)
Eat that Frog: 21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less Time (Brian Tracy) – although listed as a 'stop procrastinating' guide it is essentially a good book on motivation and time management. If you like the language of goals and success, especially in a business setting, then this will be useful to you. Tracy is a hugely popular motivational speaker and writer in the US and, if you take to this style of motivation, his words are inspiring – http://www.briantracy.com

TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS (TA)

I'm OK – You're OK (Thomas Harris)– Transactional Analysis (TA) is a useful psychotherapeutic model which describes the Parent, Adult and Child within us all. TA was originally developed by Eric Berne and his book of 1964 remains a classic: Games People Play: The Psychology of Human Relationships. Thomas Harris was a friend of Berne and the book,I'm OK – You're OK,further popularised TA.For the uninitiated it remains the most understandable, approachable and accessible exploration of Transactional Analysis. Harris refers to some of the games people play – games which are defensive, avoid intimacy and give individuals a payoff, which all demonstrate childlike or parental behaviour. The goal of TA is to become an "emancipated adult." TA offers a revealing explanation of how we behave in relationships and many have found it life-changing when looking at their own lives through this model. The divergence between Berne and Harris is at the heart of the book title. For an updated book on Transactional Analysis I would recommend:TA Today: A New Introduction to Transactional Analysis (Ian Stewart & Vann Joins.)

WILLPOWER

The Willpower Instinct (Kelly McGonigal) – based on her 10-part course at Stanford University, McGonigal takes a scientific approach to willpower and highlights the latest research to really show us what we need to do to increase our willpower. This covers some fascinating ground and gives us highly actionable information to improve our willpower. (Full Review: Can You Breathe Your Way To Willpower? – Recommended Book)

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